Awful

 I don't know who is reading this, geez, i don't even know if anyone is ever gonna read it. I just wanted to say that I feel awful; and it is so sad that i have no one to tell how awful i feel right now. i want to cry so hard and so bad; but there is no one around, no one to see that i am sad, that i am crying my heart out. all i can do is, cry in the shower and let my tears flow with the water or cry right into my pillow and cage my sobs within it. at the end of the day there is only me who has to console myself. tell myself that it is all going to be alright. tell myself, that i am strong and should know and act like one.